I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize