We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
