in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
