real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize