I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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