why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
