Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize