those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize