I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
bring money and cleavage
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
