I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
