I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
