i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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