Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize