You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
