I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
