I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
