Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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