If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize