My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
