hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
