You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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