Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
