I CAN MOONWALK!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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