stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
