reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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