Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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