I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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