no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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