Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
