Fuck appropriateness.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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