i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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