Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
4 words: hood of his car
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
