is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When are your genitals available?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
