is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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