Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
