How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this just has baby written all over it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
