cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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