Whod you bang
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
