so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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