I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
