Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
