I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
honey bunches of taint.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
a search helicopter?!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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