Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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