i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
