i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
