Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
