I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
