So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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