also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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