he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pooping to opera.
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