i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize