I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
