Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
