Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
