Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
