Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do vagina's smell?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dick very happy bro
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
