perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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