great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize