Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I AM VODKA MAN
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
