I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
