i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
high people should be assigned attendants
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
